


Is This Okay?

by PokiTheGhost



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Boys in Skirts, Correction MEN in skirts, Engineer is a good Bro, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Genderfluid Character, I am projecting onto Soldier, Internalized Enbyphobia, M/M, Other, Pyro is Genderfluid, Scout doesn’t mean to be a little shit, Scout is a little shit, Scout is just a bit uneducated, Soldier Needs a Hug, Soldier is learning about gender identity, Tavish wants to give him a hug, maybe smut, the author does not care if you do not like that they are projecting off of soldier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28776720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PokiTheGhost/pseuds/PokiTheGhost
Summary: Soldier is just coming to terms with their attraction to Demo when he ends up in a skirt while hanging out with Pyro and causes a new emotional crisis to deal with. Luckily, Demo is very understanding.
Relationships: Demoman/Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Engineer/Pyro (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am 100% projecting onto these characters, don’t like it don’t read... nvm please read.  
> No betas, we die like men.  
> Pyro in this is gender fluid.

Jane “Solly” Doe was a menace on the battlefield, loud and bright like a Fourth of July firework, a real ball of patriotic vigor if you will.   
  
“Ka-boom!” Soldier exclaimed, cackling as limbs went flying, courtesy of his rocket launcher. He took a moment, scanning the area before his eyes landed on their team’s Demo, admiring the glint in the man’s eye as he shot grenade after grenade, chasing down the enemy Medic (Who’s Heavy had died, leaving him defenceless). It had been a few months since their “WAR” ended, Jane had been swapped to RED and things were able to go back to the way he wanted, for the most part. To clarify, things went back to the way they were before, however what he wanted... Well, that’s a bit of a different story. He wanted to be able to admire his friend without feeling this unexplainable warm glow in his chest, he wanted to understand why he stomach tied itself into knots every time they touched, he wanted for it to be normal to have desires of soft kisses and hand holding with your best friend.

A bullet whizzed past his head, reminding him that he also wanted to keep those bastard BLUs from stealing their victory. He hunched down low and shook himself from his thoughts, rushing to Point B as Pyro joined beside him.

“Hnngnnr hhnd hu hud spuht hur hu hunhry” The Flamestarter huffed out.

It took Solly a fraction of a second to translate, “Engineer found a good spot for a sentry?” he repeated, running it back just to be clear.

“Hu-Huh!” Pyro gleefully nodded back, huffing slightly as they ran.

“Good! A nice sneaky spot will help distract that dastardly frenchman! Now, keep those filthy BLUs nice and crispy for me, Son!” Soldier yelled, sending Pyro off to fight as he continued to the point.

To the team’s surprise, Soldier and Pyro got along very well. Engineer was protective at first, since he knew how Pyro is a lot more fragile off the battlefield, and it is common knowledge that Soldier is one of the most brash mercs. However, one night at the base where Soldier found Pyro post-nightmare in the living room, and that changed a lot. 

* * *

_ Jane grumbled to himself as he put his hearing aids back in, he had left his cleaning patches in the rec room the last time he had cleaned his guns while watching football with Scout. The runner was a bigger fan of baseball, but would never turn down a chance to yell at some good old fashioned American sports. _

_ Soldier lightly marched his way through the base with a lantern in hand, remembering how Tavish had told him his boots had woken him up the night before, passing the arch into the living room before doing a double take. Partially obscured eyes scanned the room briefly, giving it a once over before his gaze snapped back to a hunched figure in the corner. _

_ Pyro. _

_ The boy (girl? Neither? Jane sure didn’t know) was still wearing his mask and gloves, Soldier was sure he also saw the red of his thick asbestos suit peeking out from under the garment they were wearing over top. The firestarter was wearing a light blue bunny onesie over everything, the ears of which flopped down over the big doe eyed lenses of their mask. Their body was trembling, heaving every few moments, gloved hands clamped tight over the sides of their head. Small whines and gasps leaked through the filters, lightly muffling the noises as they made their way to Soldier’s ears. The box holding so many memories of his childhood shuttered in the back of his head, Pyro’s whimpers pulling on heartstrings he forgot he had. _

_ Soldier had never done this before, he had never had it happen to him either, but he took a small step into the room trying to relax his shoulders and make himself as non threatening as possible. He tried to think of what he would have wanted someone to do back when he was younger, but it was difficult. His father only hit him because he had deserved it, simple as that. And if he didn’t deserve it, his mother would have stepped in, or maybe his brother. Jane shook his head, he knew it was wrong, he knew what happened was bad, he didn’t deserve it. Another whine broke him from his thoughts, Pyro had started rocking back and forth, flinching slightly just like Jane would have each time his father raised a belt. _

_ “Son?” Soldier took another soft step forward raising his arms out to his sides. _

_ Pyro only flinched into themself harder, crying out softly as a string of mumbles erupted from their mask. It was ineligible, and most definitely not English. Quick sharp breaths could be heard from the other side of the fabric, unrhythmic and fast, they were starting to spiral. _

_ Soldier took the limiting range of vision that the arsonist’s new position brought to his advantage and closed most of the space between them, leaning down and hesitating as he reached for the mask. “Pyro, you are going to hyperventilate. I need to remove a filter or you will not get enough oxygen. Permission to do so?” Soldier asked softly, surprising himself. _

_ Pyro shook and rocked, but there was a distinct nod of their head. Soldier reached out, and seeing no hesitation grasped one of the filters and twisted.  _

_ The sudden gasp of air surprised the rugged man, causing him to drop the filter with a clatter as Pyro’s mumbles turned into full sentences without the muffler in the way. _

_ “No por favor! Por favor no mas! Seré bueno! Seré bueno! Por favor lo siento!” Their voice was a contradiction, both soft and ragged at the same time. The pleading in their voice pulled Jane’s heartstrings tighter than before, he was sure they might just snap. _

_ “Son, breath. You are not there, you are here with me. Breath, Smokey. I do not know where your head is at right now, but your body is here.” Jane slowly reached out, brushing his hand against one of the others. The trembling figure flinched for a moment before continuing to spill out pleas and letting their hand be scooped up with gentle care. _

_ “Doctor, por favor no más. Duele demasiado! Hace frío. El piso esta tan frio. Por favor.” Pyro sobbed. Soldier was able to pick up on enough, and it killed him. _

_ “You are alright, Son. Listen to my voice.” He took the gloved hand and pressed it lightly against the ground, “Do you feel that through those gloves of yours? That is the carpet, Son. As stained and patchy as it is, it is not cold. You are not there, you are here with me in the base at Teufort.” _

_ Pyro’s breathing hitched, wavering slightly before slowing. The heavy hand pressing theirs to the floor grounding them. The images of bright white walls and cold tile floors slowly spiraled away and the glow of a lantern lighting illuminating the rustic room in a warm light took their place. In the place of the mean doctor sat Soldier. Pyro froze, unable to see his expression and expecting the worst. Soldier, sensing this, slowly removed his helmet.  _

_ Light worry lines creased the rough planes of his face, eyebrows turned up over baby blue eyes in concern. “I am right here, Private.”  _

_ Pyro lunged at him, wrapping their arms around Soldier’s mid section and pressing their face against his chest. Their body shook as they sobbed, grasping at the back of Jane’s shirt like their life depended on it. _

_ Soldier immediately held them close, protectively clutching Pyro's masked head to his chest, “It will be okay, Son. I am right here. Nothing will hurt you now, I will not let it.” _

_ They sat there for a while, Jane running his thumb up and down the back of Pyro’s head. It wasn’t until almost thirty minutes had passed before they shifted in his hold. Sniffling, they slowly looked up at Soldier, bumping their forehead against his chin in silent thanks. _

_ Soldier smiled, “You are a fighter, Son. Strong as the flames themselves. Are you ready to return to your quarters?” he asked softly. _

_ Pyro nodded, hesitating before speaking up again, “Can... can Soldier walk to room... together? Please?” Without the adrenalin of panic in their voice, they spoke slowly, a voice light yet flowed thick like molasses. They spoke through their nose some, Soldier guessed it was because they lived in that mask most of the time.  _

_ He looked down at the arsonist, “Of course, Son. Let’s get you to bed.” Soldier gently helped them up, walking slowly to their room. Pyro hesitated for a moment before opening the door. As soon as Jane stepped in he was met with the smell of warm vanilla, the kind from those cheap candles that smell like home. The walls were littered with childish drawings, construction paper and crayons lay on the floor along with many dolls, toys, and plushies. Two nightlights on either side of the room projected flames and unicorns on the walls in pink light, illuminating the room enough for Soldier to see a twin sized bed with colorful sheets and covered in even more plushies, and a cutely decorated large toy box in the corner with a couple ends of different fabrics poking out from under the cover. Pyro stood frozen, nervously fidgeting with their gloves before Soldier turned to them, “You have a very nice room, Son. Pink is a very manly color!” _

_ Pyro mumbled in thanks, kicking off their boots before climbing into bed. They dropped a spare blanket and pillow onto the floor beside them, turning to the older merc, “Soldier... stay? Until asleep?”  _

_ Soldier thought for a moment, finally nodding, “Sure thing, Son.” He walked over and sat down on the floor, dragging the spare blanket up to their chest. Pyro’s hand draped down over the side of the bed as they mumbled something. Soldier smiled, taking the hint and gently taking it into their own grasp. Although the position was awkward, Solly waited until Pyro had fully drifted off before carefully tucking their arm back in. He quietly stood up, folded the blanket, and headed out of the room, turning to quietly shut the door on his way out. _

_ “What in the world are you doin’ in Pahro’s room, Soldier?!” Jane jumped at the harshly whispered question, turning to see Engineer clad in his pajamas sporting a snarl on his lips. _

_ “Oh! Good evening, Engineer! Do not worry, Pyro is okay now! I handled the situation!” Soldier whispered back. _

_ Engineer’s brows furrowed above his goggles, “Situation? What on God’s green Earth are on about?!” _

_ Soldier stiffened a bit, “I could not sleep, instead I cleaned my weapons! I was going to grab a missing item I had left in the recreation room when I had found Pyro in the corner on the floor! It had seemed like they were having a night terror, so I went and calmed them down! They sat with me for a half hour until they had calmed down. They wanted me to walk them to their room, so I did. They wanted me to stay until they fell asleep, so I did. They are asleep now!” He recited in a hushed tone. _

_ Engineer relaxed, a soft smile spread across his face as he placed a hand on the taller man’s shoulder, “Thank yah, parder. Yah did good wook, Soldier. Now go get some sleep, Jane.” Soldier nodded and softly marched back to his room, preparing for bed with the night’s activity still fresh on his mind. He lay down and drift off to sleep, half cleaned gun lay forgotten on the floor. _

* * *

Ever since that night Soldier would use nights not spent with Demo to go and hang out with the teams firestarter. They made drawings, crafted friendship bracelets, baked desserts, and pulled pranks. Tonight’s plans were a surprise, and Soldier couldn’t take his mind off them as he blew heads off a few more BLUs in battle, evilly chuckling to himself as they took the last point.

“ _VICTORY_ ” Echoed across the battlefield. After a few good taunts, the REDs made their way back to the base, basking in today’s win. 

Tavish, the RED Demo, made his way over to Soldier, “Aye, you did good out dere today, Sol.” he drawled. Soldier’s heart skipped a beat at the nickname.

“You as well, my explosive friend!” he exclaimed proudly. “That Medic midway through the match did not stand a chance!”

Tavish guffawed, “Will ya be joining me fer a drink?”

Soldier shook his head, “Negatory! I have a scheduled ‘play date’ with Pyro!”

Demo nodded in understanding, “Welp, go have some fun then, Sol. Don miss meh too much.” he said, taking a swig from his flask before walking off as Soldier made his way to Pyro’s room rather red in the face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp here we go again! Now for some Good-Bro Engie! Short chapter for today, sorry! Schools got me really busy!

A day had passed since Soldier’s play date with Pyro, every moment he had been alone in his room he had spent in that skirt. While cleaning his guns, watching movies about war, even just lounging around on his bed, it felt good. Sure it was a bit loose, Pyro had rather feminine hips, but other than that it was perfect. It looked so perfect in fact that Soldier was too focused admiring it in the mirror to hear a very frustrated Engineer stomping right up to his door. 

Now Engineer was a very polite man and he had a lot of patience, it takes a lot to get on his nerves enough for him to forget his manners. 

Unfortunately, this had been the third day in a row he had needed to come ask Jane to return his gun cleaning solvents, and he had about had it with the pleasantries. 

The door flew open, “For the last time, pardner! If you’re gonna borrow any of my gun cleaning supplies, yah gonna need ta ask me first or-” The short stocky man froze up at the sight in front of him. “Oh.” 

Soldier stood like a deer in the headlights, his expression tense, and the big mack truck was approaching fast. It was all too familiar, he was playing with something he shouldn’t have been and he got caught. His breath caught in his throat, his body stiffened. 

Engie caught the small change in his stance and tried to make himself as non threatening as possible as he took a small step forward, “Jane?” 

Soldier stumbled back, a tearing noise echoed through the room, the edge of his skirt, Pyro’s skirt, caught on the metal of his bed frame as he fell. 

He had ruined it. 

Oh god, he broke it, just like the heels, just like his mother’s fucking heels. Just like before, not only had he been caught, but he broke something that wasn’t his. 

He knew what was coming, it hurts less if you go somewhere else and let your body go limp, but he couldn’t. His body was frozen, still stuck in those headlights. No, the headlights had passed, he had already been hit. Plowed over by a ninety thousand pound mack truck, dead in seconds, rigor mortis already setting in. 

However the strike never came. He couldn’t feel his hands or his feets, cheeks tingling, he didn’t even notice how fast he was breathing. 

There was something wet on his cheek, he was crying. That would have earned him another blow, and yet it still didn’t come. Instead he started to regain feeling in his hands, noises started to fall back into place, steadily growing louder until he could hear again.

“-ane... Jane, listen to me. Come on, breath pardner.” 

Engineer’s voice softly reached his ears. “You’re alright, boy. I ain’t gonna hit ya.” His non metal hand rested on Jane’s shoulder. “And I know sure as shit Pahro won’t hit ya either. They know how to sew, it’ll be fixed in no time.” Jane seemed to relax a bit at those words, “You looked nice, sorry for seeming so shocked. Rather insensitive of me, ain’t it?” He chuckled to himself, letting a few minutes pass until Jane’s quick breathing finally slowed. 

Engineer sighed, “What compelled you to wear a skirt?” 

Soldier raised his red blotchy face to raise a helmet covered eyebrow at him, “I do not understand the question.” he stated quietly. 

Engineer cleared his throat, “Well, yah see, Pahro likes both clothing types cause on some days they feel more like ah girl and on other days they feel more like ah boy. I was just wondering if it happened to be the same with you?” he removed his hand from Jane’s shoulder and switched from crouching to sitting down cross legged in front of the other man. 

Soldier furrowed his brows, “I am unsure. I had never known any other option, but the skirt feels... nice, and right. And I enjoy the way it makes me feel... feminine. However, I do not think I only like that! And what would Tavish think? Would he no longer want to go out and drink with me?!” he exclaimed with clenched fists. 

“Woah, woah. Take a breath. You don’t need to just pick being feminine or not, remember Pahro? They change how they dress every day, minus the mask and gloves of course, those always stay.” Engineer said, scooping up one of Jane’s trembling hands. 

“What about Tavish? What if I am no longer manly enough to go drinking with him?” Soldier asked, looking shamefully at the ground. 

Engineer smiled, “Boy, I don’t think there is ah thing in the whole world you could change that would make Tavish hate ya. He uh... likes yah for you.” 

Jane frowned at the odd wording, but nodded, “If you are sure, Engineer, then I will trust you.” he stated, looking down at their hands. 

“Dell.” 

“I am sorry?” 

“Call me, Dell. I’ve learned enough about yah today, I feel like yah should at least be able to call me by my name.” He said, standing up and brushing off his overalls. 

Jane smiled at him, “Affirmative... Dell. Oh I have a favor to ask you.” 

“Of course, what is it pardner?”

“Please do not tell the team about this, I am not ready yet.” 

Dell nodded, “Sir, yes, Sir.” he drawled, giving a small salute before leaving the room. 

Jane let out a big sigh he hadn’t realized he was holding, looking over to the rotary phone in the corner. Pyro was helpful and all, but if Jane wanted to actually take a chance with this they would need some real clothes. A sticky note with a number inked in no-nonsense handwriting hung above the phone. 

If anyone could help him now, it would be her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you have the time! Feedback would be appreciated!!

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll try to keep a good upload schedule!


End file.
